A security camera installed at 29-year-old Tim Lake’s home captured an unidentified woman waltzing into his yard and making off with the package. When Lake learned of the incident later that night, he made up a cheeky flyer that he hoped would help catch the perp:
“On Friday, the second day of August in the year of our Lord two thousand thirteen, I was suddenly and deliberately robbed by an unknown assailant. She made away with my amazon.com package containing Keurig coffee pods and two ice trays valued at more than $22 . . . So ya’ll need to hide your kids, hide your wife, and hide your internet purchase cause they robbin’ everybody out here . . .”
The flyer notes that the culprit “is either a woman or Dog The Bounty Hunter has really let himself go,” lists the package snatcher’s nationality as “Un-American,” her weight as “600 pounds,” her eyes as “vacant, uncaring, and lacking a soul,” and her hair as a “cheesy blonde dye job.”
So far, Lake has gotten no helpful tips but says that in spite of the theft, he’s going to keep getting packages delivered to his home, even though there’s a UPS center a five-minute drive away.
“If I have to drive to pick up my packages, the terrorists have won.”
(Source: The Huffington Post)
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