Bear Hug Resulting In Burst Bosom Leads To Lawsuit

CHICAGO:  Schyler Truesdell, a doorman for Epic Restaurant in Chicago, could not have imagined that a polite greeting would have ended in a lawsuit.  But it did when Plaintiff Kelli Belpedio claimed the greeting caused her breast implant to collapse.  The complaint alleges that when the doorman squeezed her against his body, she felt a pain in the right side of her chest and a pressure against her right arm. When she awoke the next day, the breast had deflated. Truesdell is described in the lawsuit as “a former college football offensive linemen who weighed approximately 300 pounds.”

Belpedio believes it was Truesdell’s hug that caused the breast implant to lose its busty appeal. What’s a burst breast worth?  $50,000 in damages.

(Source:  ajc.com)

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Man Charged With Inciting Chaos!

PENNSYLVANIA:  A Pennsylvania man, stopped at a drunken-driving checkpoint, barked up the wrong tree when he couldn’t resist the urge to bark at Chaos, the police K-9.  Chaos was assisting with the checkpoint when 26-year old James Paul Andrews allegedly became irritated and began barking, hissing and growling at the dog.  Drunken barking at a police K-9 is a third degree felony and Andrews faces up to 7 years in prison.

What’s next for Andrews?  Barking up some bail money.

(Source: ajc.com)

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• Butler Co. Man Charged After Barking At K-9 At DUI Checkpoint (pittsburgh.cbslocal.com)
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Drunken Pig Starts Fight With Cow

AUSTRALIA:  An Australian  pig, perhaps distraught over life’s woes, took to the bottle and drank 18 cans of beer which led to a violent alcohol-fueled bender.  The swine picked a fight with a cow who chased him around a campsite.  The pig passed out and was last seen lying under a tree sleeping it off.  By the time police arrived, the drunken pig had vanished.

It turns out, a drunken pig is no different than a drunken human.

(Sources:  wsbtv.com, metro.co.uk)

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Honorary Cat Mayor Attacked By Dog In Assassination Attempt

Mayor Stubbs, cat by birth, became a national hero when he was elected honorary mayor of Talkeetna, Alaska.  Known for being the most popular candidate in the race, he was a write in when residents didn’t like any of the human candidates.

News from Alaska reports that an unidentified dog made an assassination attempt against the mayor’s life.  He suffered a fractured sternum and a punctured lung, and already has undergone three hours of surgery.  He is currently under a doctor’s care.

The alleged assassin has not been apprehended but concerned constituents want him brought to justice.

(Source:  The Huffington Post)

Rapist Jailed For Five Years Told He May Have Contracted HIV From His Victim

LIVERPOOL:  They say karma is a b****.  No one knows that better than 27-year old Richard Thomas who collapsed when police informed him that the woman he raped suffered from HIV.

Man Attacked With Tub Of “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter”

Submitted by Guest Blogger:  

Elliott James, Prosecutor Orleans Parish – From the Chronicles of America’s Dumbest Criminals

SEATTLE:  When there are no knives, guns or baseball bats around, grab the next best thing when planning your attack: A tub of butter.

When an unidentified man was playing his TV too loud, Joseph V. Floyd Jr., 58  “repeatedly hit (the victim) in the head with the tub of imitation butter,” according to the police report. A witness said the victim was struck at least twice, and the responding officer saw a small scratch on the back of his head.  According to the officer’s report, “(h)is head was also covered with butter.”

Floyd was arrested and booked into King County Jail.  He maintains his innocence.

(Source:  wsbtv.com)

You May Be Liable For Texting And Driving, Even If You’re Not Driving

Everyone has warned us against it –public service announcements, car insurance ads, Oprah.  There are even laws against it.  But now, liability may extend beyond the driver. 

Whose Turn Was It To Change The Kitty Litter?

FLORIDA:  When Avelino Urbano Garon became sick of sniffing the foul stench of kitty litter, he demanded his wife freshen up the kitty box.  His wife said it wasn’t her turn to clean up the dirty deed and refused.   That sent Garon into a rage who allegedly threatened to throw the cat against the wall. Then he turned on his wife.  For this, she must die.  Garon picked up a knife and threatened, “Do you want me to kill you? I will kill you.”

When deputies arrived, Garon didn’t waiver and maintained his position that it was his wife’s responsibility to clean up after the stinky cat. They arrested him on the spot.

(Source:  The Huffington Post)

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Homeless Man Robs Bank Not For Money, But For Jailhouse Medical Plan

OREGON:  A homeless man walked into a Bank of America, handed over a note saying, ‘This is a hold up. Give me a dollar.’ 

Guns In Preschool Are Not Allowed

GEORGIA:  Here a gun, there a gun, everywhere a gun gun.  And one may be in your child’s preschool.

A preschooler brought a loaded gun to Jordan Hill Elementary School, a school located in the Atlanta suburb of Spalding County.  The gun, stashed in the child’s bookbag, was found by a teacher after another student snitched him out.

The school’s principal said the students in the school were not in danger at any time.  The principal said what?

(Source:  wsbtv.com)